I often hear people say things like “he makes me so mad” or “my kids are driving me crazy” and these words always focus my attention on to the speaker and I look for an opportunity to help them, because I know a secret. I KNOW that “he” didn’t make her mad and “the kids” did not drive her crazy. These assumptions and laying of blame are incorrect and are keeping that person from living a centered and peaceful life.
Stress is SELF IMPOSED. Stress CANNOT be given to or forced upon anyone.
Please chew on that statement for a minute. Yes one full minute. I’ll wait 😊
My Personal definition of Stress
Stress is a manifestation of energy derived from a judgement of reality.
Right now, you’re probably working through one of three possible reactions.
1– Rejection – that’s just bull crap.
2– Confusion, what the hell does that mean?
3 – Intrigue/Interest – hmmm, I’ve never thought of stress from that perspective.
Reactions 2 & 3 are healthy, but let’s focus and help those who fell into the 1st category. In order to do this, let me paint a scenario in your mind and then ask you a question.
You leave the house in the morning with plenty of time to drive to job interview for a new position that you REALLY want. You are on the highway and the radio is playing one of your favorite tunes and you are singing along in your best Rockstar voice when you are forced to come to a complete stop due to an accident and there’s no way to make it to the next exit. Your stuck and you’re not going to make the interview.
Question – Is this a problem?
Yes or No?
Most of you probably said HELL YES!
But in actuality, it’s just a fact, not a problem. Situations, occurrences, words… are just what they are. Nothing more.
It is one’s biased and subjective judgement of the facts that cause one’s physical, emotional and mental perspective to categorize each fact as good or bad which then creates a physical, emotional or mental effect. For anyone who disagrees with this I’m sorry but my words are easily provable by altering just one word in the scenario.
You leave the house in the morning with plenty of time to drive to job interview for a new position that you really DON’T want. You are on the highway and the radio is playing one of your favorite tunes and you are singing along in your best Rockstar voice when you are forced to come to a complete stop due to an accident and there’s no way to make it to the next exit. Your stuck and you’re not going to make the interview.
Question – Is this a problem?
Yes or No?
It is our internal judgement of life scenarios that cause the stress we feel in our lives.
So, if you can truly digest this invaluable lesson then you can then start to incorporate the knowledge in order to make your life stress free. It won’t be easy, but it is highly probable that you can vastly reduce your stress levels and for those who are diligent, you will be virtually stress free.
You will only be successful if you can increase your awareness. You must learn to be acutely aware of the onset of stress and then be able to see the facts for what they are. I suggest using the trigger word “stress” whenever become aware of feeling stress. As soon as you realize that you are “stressed” you just mentally say the word “stress” in your head and then look at the reality of the situation. IF you can drop your personal judgement and get back to a neutral state the stress will literally evaporate. This is a skill. It will take practice and diligence, but it gets much, much easier over time.
To build your level of awareness I suggest properly performed internal practices such as Tai Chi and or Qigong. These arts are all about focusing your attention and awareness on the now. They build a type of hyper clarity where your senses are heightened, and you feel everything. Diligent training will spill over and into your daily life and will allow you to spend more time in a state of heightened awareness. Then you’ll be able to sense the onset of stress much more quickly and be able to let go of judgement and deal with the present.